I have really learned to appreciate my boyfriend. We have been through so much together, and one of those things was him not being accepting of my gifts for the 1st part of our relationship. We had to separate for a bit, to both realize how important we were to each other, and what was important as far as we were concerned. Things are much different now, this time around. The first thing that brought us back together was when I felt his heart open up, finally, instead of being closed off. He is so very different. He also accepts me and my gifts and tries so hard to support me, learn about what I am going through, and that is very important to someone like us with these things. Every day is different. We never know when something is going to "kick" in. There is no switch to turn anything on or off. It is always there, but some days are worse than others (or better).
Some days I am so extremely empathic, some times I am experience psychic abilities (many different ones, not just one), and to learn to deal with this and control how I deal with it has become a daily struggle for me. I love knowing why I am so different know, and why I always have been, but I still am learning about myself and my gifts, as are others around me, and having a support system of others like me is so very important. I have found that going into a public situation for me is virtually impossible most of the time. Having others like me to go to things together is awesome. There is safety and validation at the same time. Not to say that I don't still have issues dealing with things on my way or once I am there, but it is so much easier to deal with when others like me are there to share in similar experiences. It is also so very cool to hear someone else's experiences and outlook on a situation. I have had many negative experiences, especially if I go somewhere where there is a lot of people, because there is always going to be negatives there. I have learned not to intentionally put myself in those situations, and to not attend anything that might put me over the edge. Surrounding myself with other positives helps so much, as the energy around me is more positive, helping me not focus as much on the negative energy that I feel. I have also learned to listen to my intuition, guides, whatever it is. I tend to manifest negative energy into physical conditions. If the negativity is really close in proximity, or huge in numbers, I will have an anxiety attack and get sick on my stomach, sometimes to the point of debilitation. I have felt this prior to an event, causing me to avoid that event, by listening to my intuition/guides and physical symptoms. Sometimes I just feel the negativity and know what is coming. Sometimes I have to have an episode before I understand it. Learning how I react both before and during this type situation, helps me see how to better deal with it in the future and also strive to find new techniques to deal with these type energies.
The atmospheric energy for the last few months has been so overwhelming. Some days are fine, others are way too much. I have found, by accident, that reversing my days and nights, by sleeping during the day and staying up at night has helped me tremendously. On the occasion I have had to go back to a normal person's schedule of daytime activity and trying to sleep at night, that I don't do nearly as well at all. I found that the energy during the day, especially during the work-week when the energy is highest, that I have to sleep through. At night the energy levels are lower, while people sleep, traffic is nil, then I am at peace, calmer, my anxiety is lower and I can actually accomplish things with a clearer head. I tested this by reversing my days/nights several different times over the last few weeks. Every time I am up during the day, I still have a hard time sleeping at night, but the days are way too overwhelming for me. Even stepping outside on my patio is too much. I have to come right back inside and I have to take more anxiety medicine to function. When I sleep through the energy, I awake feeling so much better. This does pose a problem though as I can't live my life this way, unless I go to working a night job (being around people is still an issue). I always wondered why I was like this, a night person. Now I know. This is a trait that is common amongst people like us with gifts or who are sensitives.
So, now that I have that little tidbit figured out, I have to figure out how to function in this world. So now that is another thing for me to deal with. lol But, I am happy to figure this out about myself, as it's been rough not knowing what was wrong with me in that area.
I have also found that if I have to go to the store, for instance, if I go with someone that is positive and distracts me, I don't tend to have as many problems in places like that. I am able to shield better, rather than if I go in the daytime by myself. That is a disaster in itself. Going at night and with someone else, sure helps out so very much.
So, yes, I have come so far with my gifts. But, no I still have to figure so much out. Everyday is a new learning experience and sometimes it takes me days/weeks/months of trial and error to be able to look back and see what is going on with me and what I have to do to change or correct the problem. Do I always know the answer? No way, but I do like being able to understand, even if I still have to work towards the goal of finding the answer.