I am SO exited at literally EVERYTHING!  

I sure can tell a difference in "life" when my energy changes.  Last month my most awesome boyfriend treated us to our first real vacation in beautiful, sunny Florida for 9 days.  I have found that my "mind" interferes with everything.  It promotes the "negative energy" thoughts, thoughts of failure, money issues, stressors, breaking down every little thing.  I have learned that I HAVE to get out of my mind and when I stay in my heart, life is so perfect!  Decisions are easier, as I follow my heart and my sixth sense/intuition.  I realize that I cannot exist both in my mind (intellect/ego) and my heart at the same time.  My mind wants to control.  My heart knows no control, and I just "am".  I am accepting of myself and others.  My mind brings judgement and expectation of disappointment.  My heart knows that everything is perfect as it is.  That everything happens as it should, as it is meant to be.  And we cannot control that!

The only bad thing about vacation was coming home! lol  It was so nice to forget everything and just "be".  Once home I had a huge energy shift and apparently was so "open" after some serious "soul" work and being with nature/free, that re-adjusting was a huge thing for me.  On top of that it was an eclipse & new moon.  Whew!  The wonderful thing is that I have learned how to "disconnect" myself from everything (people, computers, phones) and my down time is no longer "hiding" but is now a way for me to shift my vibration back up, focus on cutting cords, releasing anything I have picked up and clear my energy field.  What a huge difference from the girl who ran from everything and needed alcohol to escape from everything, not realizing that was opening me up more and making it all worse/compounded.  Good thing is that it was part of my journey, didn't kill me (came close a few times), and I was able to transcend that to a higher realm.

I have been reading (yes, the girl who does not read has been a book junkie).  Reading everything I can get my hands on.  I am hungry for knowledge for the first time ever.  I absorb everything there is on the spiritual level.  I am like a sponge.  I have clarity for the first time as to my soul purpose.  No more confusion, floundering about.  I am focused and thank my guides for helping me grow and achieve everything in order to do my work and to help others. I am truly blessed.
 
 
Well, it has taken me months of watching "Psychic Kids", and other shows and dealing one-on-one with those who help in the area of fears & energies to figure out that my biggest problem is me.  Now that I have known that for a bit, understanding & overcoming are two different things.  I understand that my anxiety comes from something from when I was a child, but is also fed and made worse by fear.  My fears make my anxieties worse.  So facing my fears then I should be able to decrease my anxieties.  Right? Right, but easier said than done.  I have started "journaling" and watching many different things, what affects me in what ways, and how I react, when my anxiety is worse and what is causing it, for the reason of dealing with those fears to overcome that anxiety.  I AM making progress, although slow at times, yet still progress, and sometimes I "fall" backwards, but know that I am still moving in a forward motion.  Hey, those things we let run our lives need to go!  I am realizing more and more that I do have more control than I thought and by watching others reactions, fears, etc, it helps me learn about myself and my own issues.  Fun, huh? lol  Necessary, most definitely!  Am I strong enough, dang right!  Is it going to be easy, nope, but can I do it? Yep, without a doubt! :)